


Experiments in Intimacy

by technicolortidepods



Series: Experiments in Intimacy [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Kink Negotiation, featuring beau's daddy issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 16:25:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16141037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/technicolortidepods/pseuds/technicolortidepods
Summary: Look, Beauregard's got her kinks and fantasies like anyone else, okay? And if she could possibly use them to add a little thrill to an awesome yet fairly routine sex life, then she's certainly gonna try.





	Experiments in Intimacy

**Author's Note:**

> this is the possible first step in the direction of a much longer series of one-shots

Look, Beauregard had been with enough women in her twenty-three years to know what was good sex and what wasn’t.

There was that one girl back at the stupid boarding school her parents had sent her to when she was fifteen. It was discrete yet clumsy, fumbling, tentative touches when they thought no one was looking, hormone driven explorations of attraction and pleasure. The first time Beau had orgasmed at the hands of another person was thanks to the hesitant prodding of the girl’s fingers against her clit, her hand shoved down the waist of Beau’s uniform skirt. At the time, all it had taken was one touch and Beau had sworn she was madly in love with her. In hindsight however, those secret exchanges with a schoolgirl crush were more bumbling and awkward than anything else, and not anywhere close to good sex at all.

There was another girl, local to Kamordah and decidedly “below their family’s station”, as her father would say. The couple of quiet, passionate trysts they had, far from her parent’s judgmental eyes were good enough, but no where close to as good as the time Beau had brought her home and fucked her, nice and rough in the precious family wine cellars. The hefty punishment Beau received as a result was far less enjoyable, but the look on her father’s face when he caught her three fingers deep inside some “common whore” and the sound of the girl’s needy screams as she continued to thrust inside her made it all worth it.

A definite highlight of Beau’s escapades was the time she found herself crouched under the desk of some dirtbag politician, face buried between his wife’s supple thighs, eating her out quickly and thoroughly while the woman tried her best to stifle her sounds of pleasure while her husband entertained guests down the hall. After a couple of hastily executed orgasms, Beau had stealthily left through the window, with the scratch marks on her shoulders, satisfied thumming between her legs, and some legally incriminating documents from the man’s desk drawer as her only souvenirs of the glorious occasion.

None of that, however, came anywhere close to Yasha.

It had taken a little bit of time and a lot of growth before the two of them were able to give into the obvious mutual attraction that had only been growing stronger since they first met. Negotiating the murky waters of this new relationship had been awkward at first. What started as a one time thing to blow off steam had morphed into this common recurrence somewhere between friends with benefits and two people who genuinely cared about each other in that terrifying, sappy way Beau thought only existed in Jester’s romance novels. It was certainly something new. And Beau couldn’t get enough of it.

There was a comfortable pattern that she and Yasha had fallen into. Wake up together in the bedroom of some tavern or their combined bedrolls if they were traveling. Sometimes morning sex if Beau was too stubborn to get out of bed and Yasha was willing to give in a little. Subtle touches and glances throughout the day as not to draw the party’s attention to this new arrangement between them (even though Beau suspected that everyone but Nott was pretty keen to what happened in their tent every night). In the event of a fight, Yasha would tend to whatever injury Beau had sustained and vice versa, each pretending it didn’t bother them to see each other in harm's way as much as it did. A shared evening watch which was probably less actual scouting for danger than it was attempts at deep conversation that lead to more suggestive and salacious dialogue. Nights ended with the pair drifting off to sleep tangled in each others arms, deliciously exhausted from a few rounds of super hot sex.

It was a pretty ideal pattern. But that’s what it was: a pattern.

It wasn’t like Beau was complaining or anything, not at all. Sex with Yasha was literally everything she had thought it would be and more, and Beau had thought about it a lot. It was just, well, Beau wasn’t used to any kind of routine when it came to relationships. All of her past flings had been short, impassioned things that burned hot and heavy before imploding spectacularly. The fact that she had managed to come this far with Yasha and not fucked it up was pretty much a miracle and a good testament to how much she had matured in the past handful of months.

Dammit though, sometimes Beau missed the thrill of a messy, lusty liaison. The being ruled by her own pleasure first and everything else a far second. She longed to scratch that itch that demanded her deepest, most deviant desires be satisfied. But all that was much easier done with a horny stranger than a woman she almost definitely had those incredibly terrifying and sappy feelings for. Beau really liked Yasha. She didn’t want to scare her away by moving too fast, or coming on too strong, or really doing anything that could drive her away. And yeah, that included confessing those particular kinks that made up her hottest fantasies that Beau really wanted nothing more than to explore with her.

But this was a relationship, right? Relationships were a two-way street. If Beau wanted something, the least she could do was bring it up. Communication and all that shit? It was healthy for couples to change up their sex life every now and then, that was definitely a thing people said. Besides, maybe Yasha wanted the same thing too and just didn’t know how to ask. She was even worse with this kind of thing than Beau was. It would just be a simple conversation. Totally doable.

One night, when the group was thankfully staying in a halfway decent inn, Beau decided to bring it up.

It had been a pretty good day. Yasha was feeling more affectionate than usual for some reason, having picked her a small cluster of bright blue forget-me-nots, softly shrugging and telling her that “they reminded her of her eyes” when Beau asked why. The whole cart ride into town, Yasha stayed pressed to her side, close enough for Beau to feel the warmth radiating from her body but subtle enough for only Beau to be able to understand the difference in her behavior. While the party was having dinner and a drink, Yasha kept trying to catch Beau’s gaze across the table, sending her these adorable, tender smiles and fond glances that made Beau’s heart swell in her chest.

Gods, how was Yasha capable of being this dark, sexy badass straight outta some kind of wet nightmare and the softest, most gentle literal angel at the same time? Beau couldn’t wrap her head around it.

When they had finally reached their room, Yasha had swept Beau up in a long, tender embrace, murmuring things Beau couldn’t understand in Celestial as she drew her tighter to her chest. Embracing soon gave way to kissing, which gave way to touching, which in turn gave way to the shedding of clothes. Before she knew it, Beau was lying naked on the bed, watching with rapt attention as Yasha left kisses and gentle nibbles on the inside her of thighs, still whispering foreign, harmonic words against Beau's skin. 

_She obviously cares about you a little bit,_ Beau remembered telling herself, sometime between Yasha’s tongue shallowly trusting in and out of her entrance and her lips sucking lightly on her clit. _Or at the very least she cares about giving you a good orgasm. Just tell her you want to mix it up a little, sex wise. She’ll totally understand. It’s no big deal._

Later that night, after a series of well placed caresses and soft touches, Beau gazed up in awe, watching as Yasha finally came undone under her hand too.

Yasha collapsed on top of her, face buried in the crook of her neck, panting and gasping for breath. Beau had just brought her over the edge with nimble fingers against her clit, stroking and tugging until Yasha began to whimper and tremble above her. Now, she kept her hand flat, letting Yasha languidly roll her hips against it to gradually settle the tiny waves of pleasure that followed her orgasm. Beau trailed her other hand up and down the planes of Yasha’s muscular back, feeling the muscles beneath twitch with relief.

“How was that?” Beau whispered in her ear, a little smug. She could tell how it was. The way Yasha’s hands were wrapped tight in the bed sheets and how her entire body shuddered when Beau’s mouth brushed the shell of a heavily pierced ear told her everything she needed to know. But hearing that validation straight from Yasha’s quivering, kiss-swollen lips was just so much sweeter.

“Ah… g-good,” Yasha panted back into the crook of her neck, still rolling her hips against Beau’s hand gently, completely covering it even more with her slick arousal. “V-very good. I liked that, ah, very much.”

“Mm, yeah, I can tell.” Beau teased, giving Yasha’s cunt a little squeeze with her drenched hand, indicating the wetness that still escaped her entrance is short spurts. Yasha made a sound that was part giggle, part moan, and part wince muffled against Beau’s body. Beau had the sudden urge to do it again and milk a second orgasm out of the trembling woman on top of her, but thought better of it. Yasha was incredibly sensitive down there, more so than most women, so any more unprompted stimulation would most likely be too much for her. Even that little grab probably triggered a degree of pain Beau had not intended.

She instead continued to stroke up on down Yasha’s back, trailing her fingers lightly down her spine as Yasha gradually slowed her canting hips.

“That’s it,” Beau murmured against her ear, “There you go, Yash, keep going as long as you need.”

Yasha nodded and let out a sharp release of breath, a soft, quick moan, before reaching down between her legs to grip the Beau’s wrist, pulling it away as the aftershocks of pleasure subsided. With a little grunt of exertion, she pushed herself onto her elbows, and placed a delicate kiss on Beau’s lips.

“Thank you, Beauregard, for that.” Yasha said, eyes closed, shoulders still rising and falling with deep, steady breaths. She was just so good. Yasha was good and gentle and perfect and the gods only knew what else. Beau couldn’t help but take a handful of Yasha’s wild hair and pull her down for another kiss, longer this time, pushing to trace along the inside of Yasha’s mouth with her tongue. She kissed a little harder when she heard a tiny yelp of surprise get caught in the other woman’s throat and brought her free hand down to clutch at soft flesh of Yasha’s ass.

“Mm… stop that, you.” Yasha chided against her wanting mouth. She pulled away halfheartedly, just enough to let Beau to see the light hearted glimmer in her two-toned eyes, putting up no fight when Beau raised her head to meet her lips again.

“Why?” Beau asked playfully, through kisses. “Am I getting you all worked up again?” She began stroking Yasha’s calf up and down with the sole of her foot as she brought the other hand down to grasp at Yasha’s ass too, digging her nails in a little and leaving dashes of red on alabaster skin. “Is this getting you all nice and wet for me, Yasha? That why you want me to stop?”

Beau could feel Yasha’s smile against her lips and the way she ever so slightly pressed her hips against Beau’s own in response to the gentle bite of nails against smooth flesh. “Maybe…” Yasha replied, matching Beau’s playful tone. “You do have that effect, from time to time.” She gave Beau one last chaste kiss before pulling away, for good this time, and rolling off of her to lay on her side. Beau let her go, wiping the hand slick with Yasha’s residual arousal on the bed sheets as she turned to her.

“I try my best.” Beau told her, snuggling into Yasha’s welcome frame, enjoying the loose security of muscular arms wrapped tightly around her waist. Yasha’s body was comfortably warm and Beau let herself relax into it, resting her head against her chest. For a while, everything was silent and still, barring the gentle sounds of the two women breathing in sync.

 _Look, just talk to her about it already._ Beau told herself, _You’re both in a good mood, you’re both thoroughly fucked, there’s really no time like the present._

“Yasha?” Beau asked, almost hoping Yasha was asleep.

“Hm?” Came Yasha’s hum of reply.

Beau took a breath, trying to to find the best way to ask. “I kinda want-- Uh, I mean-- Have you ever wanted to, I don’t know, like, try something new?”

“What do you mean?” Yasha responded, a little confused.

“Just like… when we’re together and everything, maybe mixing things up a little, giving something new a try.” Beau tried to explain. “Like, sex wise, you know.”

She could feel Yasha’s body tense a little bit against her at her words. “Are you… not happy with what we do?” Yasha asked slowly, after a pause.

Immediately, Beau pulled away from Yasha and sat up in the bed, facing her. She quickly noticed the confusion and hurt written across her striking features.

“What? Gods, no, no, all this is freakin’ amazing, Yash, don’t get me wrong. I could literally do this for hours, trust me.” Beau reassured her, taken aback. She grabbed Yasha’s hand and interlaced their fingers, hoping the physical gesture would set her at ease. “It’s just that, well, there’s a lot of stuff I’m into, you know, and a lot of stuff I kinda want to explore that we haven’t talked about or anything… and I’m sure you’ve got your own kinks and whatever that I don’t know about and… well, I want to be able to do that for you.”

“Oh.” Yasha said simply, loosening a little.

“Yeah.” Beau replied dumbly, looking down to avoid Yasha’s careful gaze. “It’s okay if you’re not into it, I shouldn’t of sprung it on you, that’s totally my bad.” She let go of Yasha’s hand, opting to anxiously fiddle with the bedsheets instead. “We can just got back to sleep, or whatever.”

“No, Beau I--” Yasha began, pulling herself up to sit facing her. “It, ah, makes sense, what you’re saying.” Her voice was dulcet and quietly encouraging. She reached to take Beau’s hands in hers, running her thumbs over the backs of them soothingly as she tried to meet her gaze. “What… what are some things… that you’re into?”

Beau looked up at her. Her expression had softened. Yasha’s eyes were warm and curious, and there was not a trace of hurt left on that pale, stunning face. Beau took a generous breath and exhaled through her mouth, steadying herself and gathering her thoughts. “Uhh, well… I like getting it rough, I guess.” She began, slowly. “I’m into the whole ‘battle for dominance’ thing too, you know. Um, I don’t always like to give up control, but, it would kinda be, like, super hot if you took charge and shit sometimes and put me in my place, or something”

It was very strange to be saying all this outloud. Beau was pretty open when it came to what she wanted during sex, but having Yasha hold her hand and intently listen to her every word made her feel incredibly vulnerable. Like she was under examination or something. It was enough to make even her feel a little self conscious about this kind of thing.

But Yasha made no judgements whatsoever. She just held the silence for a beat, thinking, before replying, “Okay. I think I can do that. Is there anything else?”

“Wait, really? Okay, yeah, uh, I’m good with being marked and stuff, and I’m, like, into kinda into a little pain too, I guess.”

Yasha just hummed in approval and nodded, signinaling Beau to continue.

“I, um, I like it when people tell me how good I am, just like encouraging me and validating me and shit like that.” As she continued to share her desires, the more personal they got, and Beau found it harder to make eye contact with Yasha, even keel and supportive as she was.

Yasha must have noticed the way Beau’s eyes darted nervously around the empty bedroom because she brought a big, calloused hand to Beau’s face and began gently brushing away the stubborn flyaways of hair that clung to the sweat on her temples. “I… I can praise you, if that’s what you want.” Yasha prompted, quietly.

Beau couldn’t help but shiver a little under her touch. “I do, yeah, I do want that, like, a lot.” She told her, eyes closed and nodding. After a pregnant silence, Beau spoke again, quieter this time. “I-I want to be a good girl for you.”

Beau heard Yasha make a sound deep in her throat, halfway between a moan and a growl. She looked up to see the warmth that once filled her eyes replaced with a kind of patient hunger. “That’s… that’s good to know.” Yasha said, her voice low and husky. She was resting her hand above Beau’s collarbone, drawing her thumb in the softest of patterns along her neck. “Tell me more.”

Beau swallowed and she knew Yasha could feel it. “Being demeaned is like, really hot too. I just have to be in the right headspace for it. And if you ever wanted to like restrain me or something I’d be so down.” Beau told her, with a little more bravery. Hell, the thought of Yasha, six feet of raw, barbaric power, spitting harsh words at her as she bound her hands behind her back and fucked into her rough and without abandon sent a tingling in the pit of her stomach.

Yasha let out another low, appreciative sound. “Anything else?” She rumbled, her green-blue and lilac eyes darkening.

“Umm…” Beau trailed off, mentally checking off boxes in her head. She had covered just about everything: dominance struggles, praise, humiliation. All that was left was… well, the last one was the only one Beau really wasn’t proud of. Mostly cause it made no fucking sense why something like that would do it for her, especially considering past experiences in the area. Yasha didn’t need to know everything, right?

 _Yes there is..._ singsonged a teasing voice in Beau’s head. _There is one thing. Tell her about your father, Beau. You know you want to._

Beau would have been more than able to ignore her own bullshit internal monologue if the thought of kneeling before Yasha as she chastised and shamed her, no matter how hard Beau tried to please her wasn’t so utterly enticing. She was already dizzy, imagining the sweet stench of wine on fantasy Yasha's breath as she took her by the chin firmly, demanding her to say her name.

_Daddy, please..._

“I, uh, there is, um, one more thing.” Beau choked out. “The… the scolding and the praise and shit… it, uh, it kinda reminds me of my father, that’s… that’s the kind of shit I’d get from him, you know.”

_And you kinda like it. Tell her. Tell her how it gets you off._

“And… and I kinda like it.” Beau’s voice was barely audible. “I-It really gets me off.”

Yasha just stared at her, her heterochromatic eyes wide and almost vacant. Beau only had a second to panic about how she totally weirded her out and ruined everything when, without warning, Yasha kissed her.

The kiss was passionate and fleeting, but long enough for Beau to feel a wave of relief, cool and pure and clean, wash over her entire mind and body. Of course, she could trust Yasha. Sure, there was a lot of things they still had to work on together, but their relationship was deeper than a couple of touch starved women working out kinks. As complicated and confusing as it was sometimes, Beau knew that Yasha would lay down her life for her, she would do the same. They had done so time and time again. They had fought side by side, cried side by side, rejoiced side by side, and mourned side by side. Whatever god or dodecahedron thing controlled fate had brought them together and ensured that through it all, that had been where they stayed.

Yasha parted after a few moments, pulling Beau in for a tight embrace and softly whispering in her ear, “Thank you for telling me, Beauregard.”

“Yeah,” Beau responded, somewhat absently, lost in thought, “Yeah, I’m glad I did.”

Yasha kissed her once the crown of her head before pulling away, her hands gently resting on Beau’s waist. The lantern on the night table threw dappled light on her naked body, painting Yasha’s unmarred pale skin with flecks of gold. Beautiful. Beau felt her heart leap into her throat.

“We should sleep now,” Yasha said softly, holding Beau’s distant blue gaze for a moment longer before drawing back the sheet. She arranged herself underneath, lying on her side, and patted the empty space in front of her. “Here,” she whispered to Beau, “Lay with me.”

Beau smiled a little as the gesture. She wriggled beneath the sheet and nestled into the comfort of Yasha’s encompassing figure. She tucked her head underneath Yasha’s chin and relished the feel Yasha’s arms instinctively wrapped around her abdomen and the faint sound of her heart beating a steady rhythm in her chest. It lulled Beau into a easy state of calm and content, which she let overtake her.

“Hey, Yasha?” She asked her quietly, after a moment or two.

“Hm?”

“Just, uh, thank you. For everything, I guess. Or just, like, for understanding me.” Beau tried. “Ugh, I don’t even know what I’m trying to say here, I totally sound like an idiot. But, yeah, thank you.”

Yasha laughed a little, a soft delicate sound that hung briefly in the stillness of the room before fading away. Beau could feel it reverberate from where she was snuggled against Yasha’s chest.

“Shh,” Yasha hushed, holding Beau impossibly closer. “You don’t have to say anything, Beau.” She murmured, tilting her head to whisper directly against Beau’s ear. “Just lay with me.”

“Okay.” Beau whispered back, resting her arms above Yasha’s that were currently ensnared around her midsection.

So sure, maybe Beau was lacking when it came to experience with relationships that had any sort of consistent routine. But she knew enough to be absolutely sure there was nothing she would trade for the assurance that she would spend every night in the foreseeable future just like this.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @technicolortidepods, if you feel so inclined


End file.
